Hero Worship 2: The Praisening!

The last blog I posted was very much a personal piece of hero worship, laced with the occasional self indulgent attempt and humble effort to conjoin myself into something relevant that people might like to read.

Part two however, is just a more brazen commentary on heroes in general and how they have certainly had a massive effect on me over my lifetime.  I think that the concept of what a hero is would appear to be surfing high on a crest of a wave of popular culture.  The concepts are ancient but the general uniformity of how they are being embraced is still in ascendency.

Fancy words, but what does it actually mean?

I think if I cast my mind back and delve into the murky waters (some would argue, cesspool) of my past - the embracing and emulation of larger than life heroes was at best kept at arms lengths, at worse, frowned upon.  I'm talking predominantly of the 'Super Hero' genre.  It seemed to be okay to want to emulate Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sly Stallone blowing up Germans/Terrorists/Robots/Aliens but if you wanted to dress up like Spider-man and not kill anyone then you were viewed as a maladjusted child with especially appalling taste in clothes.

Super Hero worship was the realm of geeks and nerds and if I'm brutally honest, I still don't understand why.  I have been pleased to watch that as the past decades have rolled by there has been not just acceptance of this type of hero, but an embracing of it.

Why should I care so much?  Does its acceptance somehow justify a childhood of persecution and hiding the fact you think that the buff men in spandex are really cool?  Well, I suppose it does a little... but it's much deeper than that.  The hero concept is one that has actually guided my through life, something that has inspired me, motivated me to act in a certain way. 

Now I want to draw a line under this point very quickly -  I don't think or see myself as any kind of a hero.  No way, but I have tried to carve out my own path through interpretations of what I have read and seen on page and celluloid and apply them to my behaviour and principles in life.

I think an example is best suited here.  One of the most powerful lines I have ever absorbed was written in Garth Ennis' 'The Preacher.'  This run of comic books is renowned for it's extreme violence, debauched depictions of sexual preferences as well as an incredible satire of modern religious beliefs.  The whole run is powerful, shocking and brutal. Just like real life.  The words are below, spoken to the Hero, Jessie Custer by his dad during a heartfelt moment in a flashback scene.

Thank you Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon!



For years those lines have rattled through my skull and soul and they will be the exact words I tell my little boy when he is old enough to grasp the weight of their meaning.  These words shape Custer and they have shaped me. 

Moments with true impact and resonance are few and far between in any type of media. When they surface, wherever you find them, they should be remembered for times where strength might feel lost and hope is needed. I have also found inspiration through the more classic superhero avenues.  The  Spider-man maxim 'With great power, comes great responsibility' has become somewhat of a cliché these days.  However, it was a motto I grew up with and I believe I understood its complexities at a relatively young age. Another sage piece of advice to pass on.

I found growing up there was escapism and yet a true source of power with these characters.  If you could look deep enough you'd always find connections you could apply in real life.  These characters have helped keep things in perspective for me.  Sure, they aren't real but that doesn't stop their exploits having meaning.  The themes that run throughout are sometimes much clearer to see when set against the background of super heroics. Most people will have particular standout characters that they recognise with more than others.  I know I do.  Trust me, you've not had a bad day until you've read anything that's happened to Matt Murdock (aka Daredevil) in the past 20 years.

Trust me, this is actually doing 'okay' for Daredevil...

The Japanese Manga (comics)  and anime (animation) are another source of hero worship for me. A great part of the most famous and popular examples all have a very similar set of particular themes.  Most notably, the overlying principle that protection is paramount.  Dragonball Z, Naruto, Bleach and even the legendary Fist of the North Star all have characters who marshal their strength and overcome incredible odds for the sake of protecting others.  A basic heroic tenement? Yes. But not nearly as well emphasised in Western culture as it is with the Japanese heroes.  The protection of others is sacred... and that message has been so strong I have found it has permeated my way of thinking too.  So much so I will go to incredible lengths to protect those I care about. This is something I'm very proud to say I try and fulfil - whether I always succeed is a totally different matter.

I am well aware that there is an indulgence in this type of hero worship.  There are 'true' heroes out there, everyday doing things that flabbergast me.  Some genuinely leave me awestruck and similarly make me hope that should I ever find myself in their situations I could act even a modicum of the courage, dignity and decorum as they. A few I find myself tempted to name, such is their effect on me, but that is not the nature of this blog.

It's about finding strength through an unlikely source of inspiration.  People find themselves scared much more frequently than they'd like to admit.  Fear creeps in and if we let it truly take hold and absorb us it can have life altering effects.  Not just on grand scales but in increments too.  We have no idea of the fears faced by people all the time, the strength and courage needed to challenge what the next day has in store for us.  Whether it's a job interview or that next dreaded doctors appointment there is always that fear of uncertainty.  Most people swallow these fears and the rest of us continue oblivious to any pain caused to the souls that are suffering.

I'm not preaching that I'm some sort of fear guru and emulating a few superheroes will enable you to conquer all concerns and live happily ever after.  I have been afraid though.  I have been scared past the boundaries of sense. As Mark Tremonti sings 'So you're afraid.' If you aren't scared once in a while, how is it possible to be brave? Close family and friends are invaluable too, but sometimes that inner strength needs a little internal kick-starting that can only be done by the individual.

I've no doubt that this next confession will split the readers of this blog somewhat:

There have been times, even in adult life, I have found myself facing unhappy, difficult situations and I have genuinely internally asked this question: 

'What would Optimus Prime do?'

Usually the ridiculousness of this question is alone enough to get me through whatever troubles I might be having because the answer is usually that he'd say something wise and awesome like 'Freedom is the right of sentient beings' and then stomp all over the bad guys in a way that pretty much puts every other hero to shame. Ever.  Easy when your a 30ft tall alien robot.  Still, he was always the consummate hero to me and still inspires me when I find myself searching for courage.

Optimus Prime proving that fear isn't an option if you can be wise AND pose awesomely.

Any fanboys reading want to see how this particular fight finished - scroll down.



It's not all just dealing with fear and being strong physically.   Occasionally these heroes provide relationships that unlike many films and books these days, are extremely complicated and rarely have the statutory happy ending that also proves so elusive in reality. Some in particular are so captivating and enchanting that they become similar to modern day fairy tales.  Clark Kent and Lois Lane, Wolverine and Jean Grey, Batman and the Joker (Seriously, google the theory - it makes perfect sense). They encapsulate the trials and tribulations we face daily and it's very rare we get an Eastenders level of baseness applied. There are lasting repercussions and heart wrenching losses but there is again a level on which people can connect.  It's the emotional aspects of Super Heroes that has come on furthest in recent years with the influx of very good Hero filmography.  Motion pictures like Thor and Iron Man have successfully shown romance without it just being boiled down to rescuing a damsel in distress time and time again (The X-Men movies where also excellent at redressing the status quo among the sexes, with some incredibly empowered female characters - and don't get me started on Hit-Girl from Kick Ass!)

Jean Grey and Wolverine... the most tortured, star crossed lovers in recent comic history?



To bring this blog full circle, it is a genuine pleasure to see so many heroes of mine now being accepted and being able to deliver the same messages to a much wider audience. It's a thrill to see no one complaining that Batman runs round looking like an armoured condom... just that Ben Affleck should not be wearing said protection.



This is just one small source that I feel lucky enough to draw inspiration from and would admit that for me this has been a case where looking outward has helped me see inward. I would definitely recommend taking the plunge and emotionally investing yourself in a hero or two.

Thanks again for reading!

In your face!

Hero Worship

They say 'Never meet your heroes'. I'm not particularly sure who 'they' are and what their authority is but I think I understand the gist of the notion:  Ultimately we put our heroes onto pedestals which usually brings us crashing down with disappointment when we finally get to see them for who, and in some cases, what they really are.

I had the privilege of meeting one of my heroes the other day when Neil Gaiman arrived at Ely Cathedral for a signing on his latest book; 'The Ocean at the end of the lane.'  For those of you that know me shall have to decide for themselves whether I'm the kind of person you'd expect to queue up with a thousand other fans at a fantasy writers book signing in the most famous religious building in the fens.  Even I find my presence in that statement a little incongruent.

Firstly, the book he was promoting was excellent. A couple of you have contacted me about my 'Twilight my fire' blog and mentioned a few books in related topics and I must confess that I was somewhat pleased with this. With the unrelenting technological advance of smartphones, online gaming and televisions with greater IQ's than the people who buy them I was starting to fear for the humble book. It turns out that that fear might be misplaced. There are more of us out there than I anticipated reading much more than just Faceboast updates.

So, I would recommend Gaimans latest novel, it is magical, simple yet deep and can be enjoyed on many levels, all the while brimming with imagination and energy.

Gaiman had entranced me years ago with the Sandman graphic novels, changing my concepts of what comics could be. They could be adult, bewitching and frightening and where other publications' duels were fought with fists and superpowers, the battles within the pages of Sandman were decided with wit, intelligence and slightly more abstract conflicts and concepts.

All this had me worried; this man had captured my imagination, the very way I saw life in literature - through an odd, fantastic kaleidoscope where real life, the arcane and subversive are interwoven. What if he turned out to be a grumpy bastard just churning out literature to pay his way? I believe current terminology would call this cynical process as 'doing a Bruce Willis.' What if he wasn't the man I'd always hoped had fueled my imagination and inspired my wholly non-committed attempts at trying to emulate?

As it would turn out, I needn't have worried, he was as genuine and charming as his writing. Funny, wistful and perhaps a touch melancholic. Hearing him speak and read a passage of his book was an absolute pleasure so I decided, in my own egotistical way to make sure when I took my things to get get his autograph, I would make him smile and say something to him he'd never heard at one of his signings. Something so profound, witty and astute that he would think back in days to come about 'that chap at the Cathedral' and just smile to himself and nod, probably thinking about my badass coolness.

Apart from it didn't work like that. The poor man was inundated with requests not just to sign his book but to write whole quotes of Shakespeare for some people... Three and a half hours from when his talk finished, at 00.30 we came face to face. I had three and a half hours to think of something amazing to blow Neil Gaimans beautifully odd mind with ultimate, triple distilled awesome. What did I say? Did I make a joke about how there was much more sex and violence in the queue at the last Alan Moore book signing? Did I try and reference a more obscure line from a lesser read title of his and just try and style out our conversation with casual aplomb, one weird guy to another. Nope. I said, 'Thank you very much. Do you mind if I take a photograph?

Badass coolness, eh?

As I walked, no, shuffled up to him it actually struck me. I think if I could choose a fantasy career, it would be his.  I've always wanted to write. I am just one of the many millions that keeps finding the time not to. I have lost count of the number of people that have told me I should be a writer, or just looked at me in that strange way, where they want to ask what on earth put such odd and misshapen ideas into my head but are just too polite to actually verbalise it.

Standing in front of Neil Gaiman, I have never felt more like a fake Neil Gaiman in my life.  Even down to the long hair.

                                       Never meet your heroes... you just might not measure up.

But... this blog doesn't end on that depressing note. Gaimans talk was actually very inspiring, even from his own humble viewpoint you could tell he had pushed to get where he has. Pushed himself and maybe a few other people too.  After leaving the Cathedral that warm evening I felt elated to have met him, to be reminded of what is possible if you are driven and willing to pursue your dreams. I was also reminded of the power of books, too, and have been encouraged to turn off technology a little bit more often these days and lose myself in the worlds between pages.

Someone pointed me not so long ago towards this lovely quote by Alan Bennett.  I think it is rather relevant to the whole topic of inspiration through books, authors and the connection it can create.

"The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which you had thought special and particular to you. And now, here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out and taken your hand."

I had wanted to ask Neil Gaiman if he had read 'The Alchemist' by Paulo Coelho. This was another inspirational book I have read recently (25 years late to the party), it seemed to fit in with my perceived dichotomy I was experiencing between achieving ones destiny and just forgetting you might even have one. I have been recommending The Alchemist to anyone and everyone that will listen to me and has this has completed the cycle of me falling in love with books and being inspired by the written word again. The Alchemist is a modern day fable about having the courage and conviction to follow your dreams and is a wonderfully motivating read for anyone who has ever questioned their direction and focus in life. Finishing this book and meeting Neil Gaiman made me feel very much the same way.

So in true regards to meeting your heroes, I actually found the experience exciting, inspiring and even would go so far as saying it was spiritually rewarding. So, if you get the chance - meet and embrace the people that inspire you... or read the Alchemist - there's less worry about that restraining order.

Twilight my fire: Modern Vampires suck... my balls

Okay, so this is my first official blog about something that isn't about video games or me pleading to people to read this blog so I thought I'd pick a subject that most people would have an opinion on:

Modern Vampires. Or more specifically, and excuse the horrible overblown cliches... why they blow.

Hang on, did I get that wrong?

This blog will, for the most part separate you into two, very distinct groups: Those with ovaries and those without.

So this is inspired by the insepid 'Twilight' that currently happens to be stinking up the television as I write. Actually, its more about the awful legacy of the books and films than the actual 'product' itself... whole generations are being fed a convoluted pile of rancid Vampire misnomers. In truth, I am not sure where to begin... shall we start with the perversion of the actual myth of the Vampire itself?

Rule #1: If Vampires are exposed to direct sunlight, they don't sparkle like a My Little Pony's nutsack... they explode... like a My little Ponies nutsack stuffed full of C4 and shot with a rocket propelled grenade. Or they will at least catch fire and burn like MJ at pre show rehearsal.

The whole point of being a kick ass killing machine that never ages, never tires is that you have to have one weakness! Sparkling in sunlight like a 12 year old girls lip gloss would have given Van Helsing BIG problems! Sparkling like 12 year old boys.. not so much (according to the graffiti I read in the Whitby public toilets back in 1893).

Rule #2: Modern Vamps are douchewads. Come on girls, if a man was to get within 3 millimeters of your face and tell you 'I love watching you sleep' I'm pretty sure you'd call the cops or even hit Blade up on speed dial. I had an ex-girlfriend who it seemed every time I woke up wasn't just looking at me... she was watching me. Even if she wasn't in the house when I fell asleep! To be fair, we weren't together long and and I never got used to see her lying above me on the ceiling, grinning maniacally. It scared the shit out of me.

Back to Vamps - spying on you when you are asleep isn't romantic, its called stalking. This is after telling you he'd quite like to eat you... and not in the good way either. Humans are Vampires main source of nourishment; can you imagine telling a potato you're going to eat it, then just get jiggy with it? (Calm down you fen boys at the back - I'm not sure 'vegetable' is technically a legitimate sexual preference) Vampires were originally almost impossible to kill badasses, with genuinely frightening powers other than the ability to play baseball really well in thunderstorms.

If being pasty and having serious problems expressing how you feel is so sexy, how come me and my boys at chess club in school never got laid?*

Adam Ant - dividing 34,657,543 by 2.7 in his head.

Blades Jared Nomak: Don't crap your pants if you see a Vampire!

I blame Cedoric Diggory... had Voldemort not done him in I'm pretty sure contract obligations would have saved us all. Ironic that 'Diggory' has the face of a spade - Pattinsons face has done more to demolish the legend of the vampire than any other modern spin on the myth - and I include Tom Cruise's portrayal of the midget vampire pixie, Lestat in 'Interview with a vampire' in that. When asked what they thought of Twilight, most girls gush: 'Rpatz is sooo dreamy!' No one ever says 'I loved the juxtaposition of an ancient creature that never ages set against a society that is constantly evolving...'

Vampires should be magical, not fanciful, menacing not romancing, there has always been a carnal side to them, of course! They fornicate and drink blood - they don't smoke around in Volvos with poorly designed boots and climb trees - that's the Swedes job! Why not go the whole hog and give the guy a Prius, a roof garden and make him a tofu salesman?

I can't help but fear for the bastardation of Vampires. I worry that in a generation they'll be fully demoted to polishing Leprechauns bell-ends and giving Hobbits Tibetan nut rubs. Zombies are now so much more en vogue than Vampires but every Games Workshop fan knows that the bloodsuckers should be the big (bloody) kahuna burgers of all the undead. They are without doubt undead like a boss in every way... or at least should be (imagine Bill Nighy playing his Vampire Lord from Evolution but in Shaun of the Dead and you'd get it - zombies = bitches.)

If I may be so bold, may I recommend a few 'Real' Vampire works:

Book wise, please check out the original Bram Stokers Dracula and Stephen Kings 'Salems Lot.' Both are a little tricky to get into but well worth persevering with.

Movies - 'John Carpenters Vampires' is excellent as is 'Near Dark' (although a little different) and if you want a real laugh check out 'From dusk til Dawn.' The HBO series 'True Blood' is also entertaining and far, far better than the dross of the books that inspired it. The anime 'Vampire Hunter D' stands head and shoulders above most movies but is not for the squeamish. '30 days of night' and the Blade Trilogy also translate well from comics to silver screen.

If games are your thing, the re-imaging of Castlevania (Lord of Shadows) is amazing and features some top voice acting - Patrick Stewart is in there but Robert Carlyle knocks it out of the park, again.

Apologies for the unoriginality of my first blog attempt but I wanted to pick  topic that would inspire some reaction from most people... either love or hate in this instance. I think , most Twilight fans would admit - RPatz has a lot to account for.

Lets just make one thing clear - I'm not jealous of that sexy, rich bastard. Not one bite. I mean bit!




*By other non-chess club members, obviously.

Introduction and welcome!

There must be a certain ego required, for people to decide to that blogging is a legitimate way of passing the time. I'm sure that deep down, that's the reason for me creating an account on here although I shall try and convince everyone otherwise. This can be our little secret... between me and the entire internet: I am only really blogging because of a medical condition in my favoured hand has pretty much stopped me doing everything else I'd usually choose to preoccupy my time with. It's not at all because I think my inane ramblings might actually entertain anyone and hence feed my insatiable ego.

Okay, now I have convinced the world that this blog is a byproduct of a medical condition and not at all any flawed character trait of mine that craves attention I feel I can confess to having blogged a couple of times previously.

I do keep a videogame blog (incredibly sporadically) that may entertain just a few friends (or truthfully, bore them to tears - if you are feeling brave  you can check it out here) and that was started when my hands failed me a few years back. I'm reassured that keeping two blogs on the go isn't cheating though, as long as they are unrelated, share different domains and don't go to the same Pilates evening class.

Well, I think it was blogs that relates to...

Before I get too blogged down, I just wanted to say thank you for reading this far and hopefully I can entice you back once in a while with my random musings. I shall try and cover a multitude of topics and hopefully even be a little entertaining.

If you would like to know a little bit more about me, well this should be linked to google+ and you can find me on faceboast and tw@tter (@AlAndrews15).

See you around, hopefully!

Perhaps I should leave a footnote to admit as much as I would love to believe I shall have 34 billion followers within a week... I am a realist; I know it's going to be a paltry couple of mill... or maybe even just a few friends who check in to see if I've accidentally said something I really shouldn't have - I am a believer in that lines are meant to be crossed!